


No Remedy but More Love

by Diary



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Bechdel Test Fail, Declarations Of Love, Established Gilly/Samwell Tarly, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gilly/Samwell Tarly Get Married, Late Night Conversations, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Marriage, Oaths & Vows, POV Female Character, POV Gilly, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Episode: s06e10 The Winds of Winter, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 19:45:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7327981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A possible look at Gilly and Sam after 6x10 The Winds of Winter. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Remedy but More Love

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Game of Thrones.

Gilly writes the note without tears, and when baby Sam starts to cry, she bounces him.

“I’ll find a way to take care of you,” she promises. “We’ve managed to survive Craster, White Walkers, other free folk, and Randyll Tarly.”

Princess Shireen once told her about history being rewritten. Some people told lies, and those lies were what future generations believed.

It isn’t exactly a lie, but most of their surviving had to do with Sam.

“I’ll miss him, too,” she continues. “But- I’m sorry. I promise I’ll find a way to take care of you.”

…

“Gilly! Baby Sam!”

In the inn room, Gilly and the baby jolt awake.

“Gilly! Gilly!”

He’s going to get himself killed, she thinks in exasperation, and us thrown out.

“Baby Sam!”

When they get to the lobby, she takes a small breath. I can be strong, she tells herself. He’s going to at me with soft, warm eyes, probably take my hand, and I’m going to be strong.

“Sam,” she says.

Turning, he lets out a big sigh. “Thank the gods you’re okay!”

“Didn’t you get my note?”

The woman at the desk glares at them.

“I’m sorry,” Gilly quickly tells her. “We’ll go to-” She grabs Sam’s wrist with her free hand and tugs. “Come on, Sam.”

Baby Sam irritably babbles at her.

“Big Sam,” she clarifies. “Not you, little one.”

He continues fussing until she sets him on the bed, and he quickly falls back asleep.

“Gilly-”

“You don’t- You always want to take care of me and Baby Sam. But I should be more to someone,” she says. “You send us away, you wanted to leave us with your family, and now, you have the biggest library in the world. That’s what you’ve always wanted, and I’m happy you have it. But I’m-” She pauses. “I’m not going to be someone’s obligation. It’s different, what I’d do for baby Sam, and what you will for him and me, because, I love him. If babies can love, he loves me.”

“Of course, babies can love,” he says.

She glares.

“Sorry." Reaching over, he tries to take her hand.

She moves away.

“Gilly, you said I was his father. We- made love.”

“You turn red whenever you say that and look guilty,” she accuses. “And then, you wanted to leave me and him with your family. I’ll always be grateful, Sam, for all you’ve done, but you-”

“I love you!”

They both jump, and he looks almost as frightened as he did when the White Walkers came, but taking a small breath, he looks in her eyes. “I love you, Gilly, and baby Sam. If- if you don’t want to be with me, I won’t, you’re free to do whatever you want, but please, let me still help with him.”

She feels tears coming, and remembering something about how a person can’t swallow and cry at the same time, she grabs the glass from her nightstand and takes a drink. “You love books. You’ll love being a maester. And sometimes I think- sometimes, I think you kissing me and that night, it was because you knew how much I wanted it. There was a time I’d’ve done anything for you, anything you wanted, but just because you’re kind, how’s that different from Craster? Instead of making me afraid, you decided to give me what I wanted, just so I wouldn’t argue.”

He gapes at her. It’s the look she’s seen him get before when he can’t quite believe something and is trying to work it out in his head.

“No,” he says. Before she can ask, he continues, “Gilly, I love you more than books. If it was a choice between being with you and being a maester, I’d choose you. I’m sorry for taking you to Mole’s Town and Horn Hill, and I’m sorry for leaving you earlier. I get distracted, sometimes, and just because I can work out things I read, I’m not always so good when it comes to people. In fact, I’m usually terrible at it. I- you love me, don’t you?”

“I named my baby after you,” she incredulously points out. “I never left the wall unless you took me somewhere. I gave you what Craster took and those men wanted to take. I’ve called you baby Sam’s father.”

“But you’ve never said!” he sputters.

“Neither have you. But would it have made a difference if I said, ‘I love you, Sam’?”

“Yes!”

She simply looks at him.

“Do- do you still love me?”

On the boat, he said something about her throwing things at him, and she’s disturbed by how much she suddenly wants to. “That doesn’t matter. I’m going to focus on baby Sam, and you’re going to be a maester. It _hurts_ , Sam, being someone else’s and not having them. You talk about people not belonging to people, but they do. Until he’s old enough to take care of himself, baby Sam belongs to me. My sisters and I needed Craster, and so, we were his. When you love someone, part of you belongs to them. As long as we’re safe, you don’t care if me and baby Sam are around you. But I want to be around you, and it hurts.”

Moving closer, he starts to reach for her again but stops himself. “Listen to me, Gilly. I helped you and baby Sam escape because- I want to say because it was the right thing, but really, part of it was because I liked you so much. But I never expected anything because I did. All I want is for you and him to be happy and safe. If making a life somewhere, even finding someone else, was part of that, I wasn’t going to stop you. The thing is, though, I love you, and if I’d realised how much it was truly the same for you, I would have done things differently.”

She sees the painful truth in his eyes.

Setting the glass down, she wipes away her tears. “I love you, Sam.” Reaching up, she kisses him.

When they break apart, he says, “We should get married.”

“What? We can’t. Your vows.”

“Jon died, was brought back by that red sorceress, and now, he’s King of the North. With all that, I think-”

“Wait, what?” Everything spins inside her, and she thinks, surely, she must have misheard something.

He waves the question away. “That’s not important right now.”

“Yes, it is,” she protests.

“Gilly, Jon’s alive. All that’s important right now is you and me.”

Shaking her head and being mindful of baby Sam, she sits them down on the bed. “Tell me what’s going on, Sam.”

“Earlier, some ravens came, and while everything was being sorted out, I was told…”

…

When he’s done, she wonders, “What are we going to do?”

“Right now, I need to stay here and try to find more that could help Jon. We- I might have to go back, eventually. Gilly, I’m never going to stop trying to make sure you and baby Sam are safe, but I love you. And what’s one more vow compared to that? Marry me. Tell everyone baby Sam is Sam Tarly.”

Looking at him, she realises he’s serious. “You don’t have to be afraid of me leaving, Sam. Now that I know you feel the same, I’ll never leave you. I can find a job like we talked about, and when you can, you can visit us.”

“It isn’t just about you leaving,” he says. Reaching over, he pulls her against him. “When I was little, I dreamed about a pretty girl loving and marrying me. I admit, I never imagined it’d be a wildling, but then, those dreams were immature. I never focused on loving her, not really. I suppose, in a way, you’re right, when you love someone, part of you belongs to them. This is one thing I’m not scared of. Let’s belong to each other. Cursed be those who would seek to tear us asunder.”

Closing her eyes, she presses closer against him.

Near them, baby Sam warbles in his sleep.

This could end badly, she knows.

She just can’t bring herself to care. This is what part of her has been longing for, for almost two years.

Opening her eyes, she scoots away enough she can look him in the eyes. “Okay,” she agrees.

His smile is beautiful, and his kiss is soft. “Thank you."

“But how,” she asks.

After a girl’s first bleeding was over, Craster simply declared her his newest wife and bedded her. Princess Shireen told her about marriage ceremonies people who worship the seven had, and Jon and the princess once talked about how marriage ceremonies for those who followed the old gods were different.

They certainly can’t have a marriage ceremony like the highborns have, never mind the fact no septon true to his faith would perform a marriage ceremony with a man of the Night’s Watch as the groom. If there’s a godswood around, there’s still no one to perform the ceremony and no one to give her away.

…

A week after they decide to get married, Sam takes her and baby Sam to a godswood during the night and carefully wraps his furs around them before kneeling in front of the heart tree.

“My name is Samwell Tarly. Under threat of death, I took the black. I will fight to the death, if need be, to help my brothers and protect the realm, but otherwise, no holy vows taken under duress can be considered binding.” He looks back, smiles at her, and holds out his hand.

Taking it, she moves to stand next to him.

“I fell in love with this woman, Gilly, and though not of my seed, I consider her son to be mine. I wish to marry her and raise him and any other children we might have with her. Therefore, I vow from this day until my last to love her and our family, to protect her and our family, and to always remain faithful to her bed. I might fail on occasion, but I will always try to be kind, to listen, and to be grateful to and for her. I will always try to be a loving and just father. Soberly, thoughtfully, and free of any duress or coercion, I make these vows and ask the gods to recognise and celebrate our marriage and family and to curse any who would seek to tear us asunder.”

She kisses his hand, kneels down, and when he doesn’t stand, says, “Sam, you need to stand, now.”

Shaking his head, he takes baby Sam and does.

Facing the heart tree, she says, “My name is Gilly. People think what I did with my father who called himself my husband was wrong and that my son is a bastard. In any case, I’m no maid. But I have always tried to be a good person and do the best I could. Any merciful gods would see this.”

Looking up, she offers her hand.

When he takes it, she continues, “I fell in love with this man, Samwell Tarly, and though not of his seed, I consider my son to be his. I wish to marry him and raise baby Sam and any other children we might have with him. Therefore, I vow from this day until my last to love him and our family, to protect him and our family, and to always remain faithful to his bed. I might fail on occasion, but I will always try to be kind, to listen, to be grateful to and for him. I will always try to be a loving and just mother. Soberly, thoughtfully, and free of any duress or coercion, I make these vows and ask the gods to recognise and celebrate our marriage and family and to curse any who would seek to tear us asunder." 

He pulls her up, shifts baby Sam in his arms, and they kiss.

…

Sam isn’t sure about having their wedding night right away due to baby Sam.

She sets a dresser drawer on the ground, puts a pillow in it, puts baby Sam in it, and puts the top sheet over the drawer.

“Are you sure he’ll be able to breathe?”

“Yes,” she promises. “It’s not pressing against his face, and air goes through. He’s not scared of the dark, but even if he were, the sheet’s pale enough some of the candlelight will show through.”

“I’m just not sure-” He trails off.

“We don’t have to,” she gently tells him. Slipping out of her nightdress, she picks it up and sets it on the dresser. “If you want, we can just sleep, but it’s okay, Sam. We’re married, and you aren’t going to disappoint me.” Trying to ignore her fear she might disappoint him, she continues, “In some ways, you were my first, too. I wanted you, and you gave yourself to me and let me give myself to you. Craster just took.”

Nodding, he tenderly kisses her.

…

Warm and feeling almost as if she could float, Gilly nuzzles closer to Sam’s chest. “Now, I’m truly your wife.”

“Yes,” he agrees. “And I’m your husband.”

They kiss, and he rearranges them so he’s lying on his side and holding her.

She knows war is coming, White Walkers, kings and queens fighting over a throne made of swords, and other horrible things, but as she falls into sleep, she finds herself hoping they’ll soon be mother and father and baby Sam a brother. Her hand meets her stomach, and her last wakeful thought before dreams descend is, _Come, baby son or daughter, you’ll be loved._


End file.
